International Cooking Holiday

This was the first full year in our lovely new Charleston home. Last year was the chaos of moving. And the thrill of discovering our new chosen city. We bought the yearly county park pass (a total flop) and then the yearly state park pass (a total win). But everything was “fish out of water” for us. 2024 was the year of growing into our new lives.

So this year we chose a country with incredible care. And by that I mean we spun a lottery wheel on Yelp and made it pick for us. After three or four spins, we landed on Myanmar. And it is a fascinating place.

First off, its way bigger than you think. It’s bigger than Cambodia, Vietnam, and Laos combined. And equal in size to Thailand. Secondly, it is nestled on the east by Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia. But bordered on the west by Bangladesh and India. And then to the north by China. And has influences of all three cultures in its’ cuisine. What’s not to love? (other than China of course)

So we set about learning and gathering awesome ingredients. A quick trip to the H&A Asian Grocery sorted us out and we had our supplies. Lots of fiery chilis. Tons of shallots and red onion. Lemongrass, green tea, and powdered rice, oh my! This one definitely pushed us out of our comfort zone and we loved it.

Mind you, we are not saying our cook is authentic. Or even that we got it right. It is our best attempt to cook authentic dishes from these countries using recipes and guides across the internet. But we always learn something new and we always have fun. Because that’s what life is. Growing, learning new things, and finding different ways to do something you have done a hundred times before. As always, enjoy!

Well, we moved. After 22 beautiful years in Tennessee, we moved to a brand new city. Beautiful sun-drenched Charleston, South Carolina. We had been coming here for over a decade and knew we loved it. The vote came down to Charleston, Sarasota, Florida (beautiful tiny city on the gulf side in central Florida), and Amelia Island (Atlantic side near JAX). And then the Florida governor lost his mind and declared war on Disney. To curry political favor (bc right after the election he went right back to being their buddy). So this made it easy. Florida OUT. Charleston IN.

CHS and South Carolina are intertwined but are not the same thing. SC is like the more serious older brother who is super into church and politics. CHS is the younger brother who is carefree, loving, open-minded, and just wants everyone to have a great life.

Life here is Charleston is good. Much slower than its spastic cousins to the north. Not as serious and political as its southern cousins to the west. (SC is farther south than TN, MS, AL, KY, and a lot of states that think of themselves as deep south, just saying…). But not as silly as its cousins to the far south in Florida and Louisiana. Bless their hearts.

To honor our new home, instead of a international cook, we did a local cook. Low Country to be precise. Now a true low country cuisine will have lots of shrimp, scallops, and delicious fish. And we no longer enjoy the fruits of the sea or the meat of the land. We took a long break. Because greedy corporations took over food production and made it foul, cruel, and unhealthy. But then we thought, what if we used the best of the flavors and ingredients of the low country, and just left the seafood and meat out? Why not? Its our holiday. And its whatever we say it is. So kiss my southern-fried grits and enjoy.

The Covid continues. Son of a biscuit! Every month we keep thinking it is over. And then some news report comes out that says, “DANGER, covid is going to break into your house, steal your underwear, and kick your dog.” So we plod onward. Christmas got cancelled this year. AGAIN. Out of abundance of caution. AGAIN. But whatever. The International Cooking Holiday brakes for no man, pandemic, or party-pooper.

This year we selected Chile. One of my dear friends, Maximilian, lives in Panama and loves to send me pics of his tasty lunches and dinners. So when the choice of Chile spit out of the random country generator, we decided to go for it.

Chile features bold and delicious flavors. Lots of heat and spice. Plenty of vegetables. And a fine amount of tasty cerveza. So much to love. Max was horrified when he found out we were going to cook choclo with no beef, pork, or bacon. (sorry bro) But we used veggie crumbles, tofu, and lots of chili and heat and it come out amazing anyway. Don’t worry, Max. Our choclo was still plenty flavorful and bold.

So, we were knocking about the house. bored out of our mind. I mean, we all were. Thanks Covid! The governor had “kind of” restricted us to our homes. Well, sort of. He suggested it and then had deferred power to the local town mayors. Many of whom were elected with just a few thousand votes. And in no way qualified to impose martial law or guide us through a global pandemic. And the town mayors in turn handed that power to our county mayor. Our county mayor (who I had no idea even existed prior to covid) did in fact impose tough restriction rules. Safer at home. Restaurants closed. Nary an open bar in sight. Good things county mayors have more power and leadership courage then our town mayor, state governor, or US president. At least someone was willing to go on record and make a tough call.

We were trying to decide if we should do a global cook for 2020. After all, Christmas was cancelled! Out of an abundance of caution. We thought about it and our answer was, HELL YEAH. Frick covid right in the eye. Let’s do this!

So we unleashed the power of Haitian cooking and made it happen. Fun fact, this was the last Internal Cook featuring meat products. In 2019 we went pescatarian. In 2020 we went vegetarian/vegan.

I know you will ask. I’m surprised you’re not asking right now. Why the hell did you go vegan? Are you communists? (No, we love America very much). Do you hate animals? (No, meat is delicious). We came to it for three reasons.

1) Commercial/industrialized farming is incredibly wasteful and very bad for the environment. Pound for pound, eating meatless is more impactful to global warming then driving a hybrid for 5 years.

2) Industrial farming is cruel to animals and makes them suffer needlessly. Cows don’t eat corn. Cows like grass (and sunlight). Cows like to actually move. All things that are unavailable in commercial feedlots. And then they die cruelly.

3) Over-consumption of saturated fat from animal products is really bad for your arteries. So there. Now we are vegan-ish. I will make exception for an occasional egg or a slice of pizza. But otherwise, tofu and vegetables are my friends.

We found that Haitian cuisine lent itself to vegetable-forward cooking very nicely. Beef was easily to sub with veggie crumbles. Not much cheese present. Butter was easy to sub with olive oil. All in all, Haiti was a ton of fun to cook and the meal was delicious and flavorful. And no one missed all that nasty fat. Lords and ladies, we give you Haiti.

You might be wondering how we came to choose the Czech Republic for our international cook this year. We were sitting on a park bench ruminating about the meaning of life and why a midnight tweet can make our 401k drop by 50 points, when suddenly we said, “why not slavic this year?”

Now when you say slavic, and you do say it, it is a fairly wide geographic footprint spanning from Belarus to Russia to Bulgaria. Alas we picked the Czech Republic. Formerly Czechoslovakia. Former unhappy neighbor to a very naughty Germany. Now a beautiful and thriving culture combining history and innovation all at once.

We used painstaking research and immediately stopped when we saw, Syr Smazeny, or more precisely, fried cheese. Yes my friends, cheese dipped in egg-wash and coated with panko breadcrumbs and then fried. Are you kidding me? As we Czechs always say, Na zdraví !!! To be fair, we baked the cheese instead of frying it because that was sooooo much better for our arteries. And on the wrong side of 40 we do need to be mindful of those pesky life-giving coronary highways.

We found the Czech way of cooking to be simple and hearty. Lots of cream and dill, plenty of meat and potatoes, a surprising amount of lemon, and a fair bit of fat to get you through the long, cold winters.

Comrades! I give you, the Czech Republic!

Behold, our 7th annual Christmas day international cook. We decided to try our hands at something we had never done before. Countries in the running included Russia (don’t even get me started), Czech Republic (see, I wanted to say Prague, but my beautiful and correct wife kept saying, “that’s a city not a country”, so I correctly identified it as Czech Republic) and Africa (yes, a continent and not a country but there are so many cool countries to choose from there).

We chose Ethiopia because of a rather random and delicious lunch we had at Gojo in Nashville (our perfect kind of place; tiny nondescript building on the side of a busy highway which looks super uninviting but is packed with awesomeness. you know it’s right if they snarl at you when you walk in).

We found this cook to have deep, smoky flavors with lots of heat, tons of fresh garlic and ginger, and plenty of vegetables. We did not use utensils (ok, one of us did not and one of us got frustrated and said ‘I am in my damn house and I will use a fork if I want to! ‘Murrica!’) We used delicious homemade injera bread to scoop up small bites of stew and veggies. The meal itself was slow and leisurely and we had a blast. Enjoy.

Planning and prepping:

The cook:

The finished dishes:

Korea – Deep, complex flavors. Lots of vinegar; lots of spices. And heat. Some super serious heat.  It’s not for the timid.

Or jerks. Don’t mess with Korean food if you’re a tool. It’s just not for you. Go to Hardees. I promise it will be great. You’ll love it.

We chose Korea because of our love of sour, spice, sweet, bitter, salty, and interesting vegetables.  Shockingly, 70% of the dinner was some type of vegetable.  Which back in the day would have horrified me.  Meat and cheese!!!   But now I love it.

And it feels good to eat this way.  You feel lighter.  Happier.  You finish a holiday meal and feel like you can go and do many things other than pass out and moan.

Friends and countrymen, Korea!

Enjoy.

Banchan: Spicy carrots; Mu Saengchae, and bok choy namul

Banchan II: Oi Muchim, Kongnamul Muchim, and Sesame Broccoli

Cold buckwheat noodle with red pepper sauce

The feast

Kimchee for the people

Broiled squid

Yangnyeom : Twice-fried spicy chicken thighs

Noodle bowl fixin’s

So… much… awesome…

Beautiful booches

The prep…

China is exciting.  Let’s face it.  You can’t say China without just going for it.  Try it now.  Go on.  I will wait.   <hmmmmm hmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm>.   Oh boy, wasn’t that fun?  CHINA!!!

We had no idea what we were getting into with a Chinese menu.  They make it look so easy in the dadgum restaurants.  But I promise, this menu is no joke.  Making dough.  Mixing fillings.  Stuffing.  Steaming.  Crying when it doesn’t work.  You suck, wonton!!!

Still and all, we had a fine time making the menu and got quite good at steaming in our bamboo steamer basket.  So that was a plus.

Enjoy.

Punching out some dough which then turned into soup dumplings.  Super tasty after going for a little steam bath.

I was in charge of the wonton brigade.  Made the filling by hand with pork, celery, shallots, scallion, and a host of secret herbs and spices.  Then stuffed the wrappers with care.  Once they were perfect, I threw them violently into steaming hot mushroom broth.  Cook my little soldiers, cook.  Then get in mah belly!

Toss in a little Peking duck and some crazy good roasted pork belly for the dumplings and we are ready to do work.  Xmas 2016 – “China” is about to drop.

Germany.  Those crazy kids to the east.  Or west depending on where you are standing on the globe.  To get into the proper mindset, my wife and I built one of the strongest economies in the world.   Then we acted very friendly to everyone else while all the while secretly feeling very smug about it.  Boom.  Done.  Germany!

We were not quite sure what to expect when we took on the fatherland.  Having lived there for several years in the ’90’s (and yes, that does too make me better than everyone else), I knew it would include a fair amount of meat, salt, and butter.  Oooooor, I just ate really crappy when I was there.

For Christmas feast, we had a lovely mix of schnitzel (pounded cutlet),  spatzel (noodle), zweibelkuchen (potato pie, TAKE THAT RUSSIA! you ain’t all that with your fancy stroganoff), and vegetables.  Get this.  Karotsalat actually means carrot salad.  OMG.  Those crazy Germans.

The feast was lovely and we had a great time making it.  We sang German oktoberfest songs (mostly sung to the tune of “Take On Me” by A-ha), drank pilsner (ok, that was just me), and and reminisced about our time spent rafting on the Rhine. (Mostly a lie) . Ladies and gentlemen, Germany.

Enjoy.